🌙 LATE NIGHT MODE ACTIVATED — THE CLOWN IS WATCHING 🌙

Zero VPN Logs.
By Architecture.

Most VPNs promise no logs. We make logging actively difficult at the server layer, so there is nothing to leak, audit, or be compelled to hand over.

🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK • 🚫 NO IP LOGS • 🚫 NO DNS LOGS • 🚫 NO SESSION TIMES • 🚫 NO DESTINATIONS • 🤡 NOTHING TO LEAK •

🎪 Promise vs Architecture

Two ways to "have a no-log policy":

📝 Promise-based "no logs"

Logging is on by default at the OS / server level. The VPN operator manually filters or deletes logs. If anything goes wrong — config drift, dev oversight, court order — the data is there.

Most "no log" VPNs.

⚙️ Architecture-based no logs

Logging is disabled at the WireGuard config level. Servers run on RAM-disk so nothing persists. DNS goes to a public resolver, never our infrastructure. The data is never written to begin with.

ClownVPN.

🎪 Why It Actually Matters

🏛️
Subpoena resistance

If a court compels us to hand over user logs, we hand over an empty file. Not by refusing — by genuinely not having the data.

🚨
Breach blast radius

If a server is compromised, attackers find no historical traffic data. The RAM wipes on reboot. Worst case = forward-only.

🤝
Honest marketing

"No logs" is the most overclaimed term in VPN marketing. We've made it verifiable, not just claimable.

🎪 What We Actually Don't Have

Short list. The /no-logs/ audit page has the full granular version with retention windows and what we'd hand over if subpoenaed.

Data typeStatus
Your originating IP addressNever collected
The VPN IP we assigned youNever collected
The websites or services you visitNever collected
Your DNS queriesNever collected
Bandwidth used per sessionNever collected
Session start / end timestampsNever collected
Account info (email, name, payment)No accounts exist

Things we do have (anonymous crash reports, aggregate load stats, ad SDK identifiers) are documented in Privacy Policy sections 3 and 4.

🎪 FAQ

How do I verify the no-log claim?
Three ways: (1) read our full audit page with the receipt-style table, (2) inspect our app's network traffic with mitmproxy — you'll see no analytics calls about your VPN session, (3) wait for our planned third-party audit in late 2026.
Doesn't the ad SDK log me?
The ad SDK is sandboxed inside the app process. It uses your device Advertising ID, which you can reset or disable. It has no access to your VPN tunnel data, your destinations, or your DNS queries.
What if a government compels you to log me?
Lavabit precedent applies. Our policy is to fight such orders in court. If we ever lost that fight, we would publish a warrant canary the same day. Until then: the data isn't collected, so there's nothing to hand over.
Why don't paid VPNs have this clearer policy?
Because most paid VPNs need to charge cards and run accounts, which means they keep email + payment data + sometimes IP fingerprints. Our ad-supported model means we don't need any of that.

🎪 Related Features

🔒 AES-256 Encryption →

The crypto stack that protects what we don't log.

🪓 Kill Switch →

Stops traffic if the tunnel drops. No leaks.

⚡ Protocols →

WireGuard + OpenVPN, why those two.