:root{--cream: #fdfbf7;--red: #ff3333;--pink: #ff007f;--blue: #0044ff;--yellow: #ffe600;--black: #000000;--border: 3px solid var(--black);--shadow: 6px 6px 0 var(--black);--shadow-lg: 10px 10px 0 var(--black);--shadow-sm: 4px 4px 0 var(--black);--font-display: "Bangers", "Luckiest Guy", "Dela Gothic One", system-ui, sans-serif;--font-body: "Space Grotesk", "Manrope", system-ui, -apple-system, sans-serif}*{box-sizing:border-box;margin:0;padding:0}html{scroll-behavior:smooth;background:var(--cream)}body{font-family:var(--font-body);font-size:18px;line-height:1.55;color:var(--black);background:var(--cream);overflow-x:hidden;cursor:none;background-image:radial-gradient(circle at 20% 30%,rgba(255,0,127,.04) 0,transparent 40%),radial-gradient(circle at 80% 70%,rgba(0,68,255,.04) 0,transparent 40%)}body:before{content:"";position:fixed;inset:0;z-index:-1;pointer-events:none;background-image:radial-gradient(circle,rgba(0,0,0,.06) 1px,transparent 1.5px);background-size:14px 14px;opacity:.5}h1,h2,h3,h4{font-family:var(--font-display);font-weight:400;line-height:1.02;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase}h1{font-size:clamp(2.4rem,6vw,5rem);text-shadow:3px 3px 0 var(--yellow),5px 5px 0 var(--black)}h2{font-size:clamp(1.8rem,4vw,3rem);text-shadow:2px 2px 0 var(--black)}h3{font-size:clamp(1.3rem,2.4vw,1.9rem)}a{color:var(--blue);text-decoration:none;font-weight:700}a:hover{text-decoration:underline wavy var(--red) 3px}button,input,select{font-family:inherit;font-size:inherit}.btn{display:inline-flex;align-items:center;gap:10px;padding:16px 28px;background:var(--cream);color:var(--black);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.4rem;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;cursor:none;transition:transform 80ms ease,box-shadow 80ms ease,background 80ms ease;position:relative;user-select:none}.btn:hover{background:var(--yellow)}.btn:active,.btn.is-pressed{transform:translate(6px,6px);box-shadow:0 0 0 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24px;background:var(--yellow);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);transform:rotate(-2deg);margin-bottom:40px}.marquee{background:var(--black);color:var(--yellow);border-top:var(--border);border-bottom:var(--border);padding:14px 0;overflow:hidden;white-space:nowrap}.marquee--red{background:var(--red);color:var(--cream)}.marquee--blue{background:var(--blue);color:var(--cream)}.marquee--pink{background:var(--pink);color:var(--cream)}.marquee--yellow{background:var(--yellow);color:var(--black)}.marquee__track{display:inline-block;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.6rem;letter-spacing:2px;animation:scroll-left 25s linear infinite}@keyframes scroll-left{0%{transform:translate(0)}to{transform:translate(-50%)}}.card{background:var(--cream);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);padding:28px;transition:transform .12s ease,box-shadow .12s ease}.card:hover{transform:translate(-3px,-3px);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg)}.card--red{background:var(--red);color:var(--cream)}.card--blue{background:var(--blue);color:var(--cream)}.card--pink{background:var(--pink);color:var(--cream)}.card--yellow{background:var(--yellow)}.sticker{position:absolute;display:inline-block;padding:8px 16px;background:var(--yellow);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm);font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.1rem;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;z-index:5;transition:transform .2s ease;pointer-events:auto;cursor:none}.sticker:hover{animation:wobble .5s ease-in-out infinite}@keyframes wobble{0%,to{transform:rotate(var(--rot, 0deg))}25%{transform:rotate(calc(var(--rot, 0deg) + 6deg))}75%{transform:rotate(calc(var(--rot, 0deg) - 6deg))}}.clown-cursor{position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:34px;height:34px;pointer-events:none;z-index:9999;transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transition:transform 80ms ease;will-change:transform}.clown-cursor.is-pressed{transform:translate(-50%,-50%) scale(.7)}@media(hover:none),(pointer:coarse){body{cursor:auto}.clown-cursor{display:none}.btn,.sticker{cursor:pointer}}.phone{position:relative;width:280px;height:560px;background:var(--cream);border:5px solid var(--black);border-radius:38px;box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg);margin:0 auto;overflow:hidden;transform:rotate(3deg);transition:transform .2s ease}.phone:hover{transform:rotate(-1deg) scale(1.02)}.phone__notch{position:absolute;top:0;left:50%;transform:translate(-50%);width:110px;height:24px;background:var(--black);border-radius:0 0 14px 14px;z-index:2}.phone__screen{position:absolute;inset:12px;background:linear-gradient(160deg,var(--blue) 0%,var(--pink) 100%);border:3px solid var(--black);border-radius:28px;padding:36px 20px 20px;color:var(--cream);display:flex;flex-direction:column;gap:16px;text-align:center}.phone__screen.is-glitching{animation:glitch .4s steps(2,end) 4}@keyframes glitch{0%{transform:translate(0);filter:hue-rotate(0deg)}20%{transform:translate(-4px,2px);filter:hue-rotate(90deg)}40%{transform:translate(3px,-3px);filter:hue-rotate(180deg) invert(.3)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px);filter:hue-rotate(270deg)}80%{transform:translate(2px,-2px);filter:hue-rotate(360deg) invert(.2)}to{transform:translate(0);filter:none}}.phone__brand{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.6rem;letter-spacing:1px}.phone__toggle{width:90px;height:90px;margin:8px auto;border-radius:50%;background:var(--cream);border:4px solid var(--black);box-shadow:0 0 0 6px var(--red),4px 4px 0 var(--black);display:flex;align-items:center;justify-content:center;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.6rem;color:var(--red);cursor:none;transition:all .15s ease}.phone__toggle.is-on{background:var(--yellow);box-shadow:0 0 0 6px #0c4,4px 4px 0 var(--black);color:#062}.phone__location{background:var(--cream);color:var(--black);border:3px solid var(--black);padding:10px;font-weight:700;font-size:.95rem;cursor:none}.phone__status{font-size:.85rem;opacity:.9}.trust{background:var(--cream);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg);padding:32px;max-width:720px;margin:0 auto;text-align:center}.trust__scale{position:relative;height:26px;background:linear-gradient(90deg,#cc0000 0%,var(--yellow) 50%,#00aa44 100%);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm);margin:24px 0 12px}.trust__pointer{position:absolute;top:-14px;right:-8px;font-size:2.5rem;filter:drop-shadow(2px 2px 0 var(--black))}.trust__labels{display:flex;justify-content:space-between;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1rem;letter-spacing:1px}.pricing-grid{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(2,minmax(0,1fr));gap:32px;margin-top:40px;max-width:880px;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto}@media(max-width:700px){.pricing-grid{grid-template-columns:1fr}}.plan{position:relative;padding:36px 28px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg);background:var(--cream);transform:rotate(-1deg)}.plan:nth-child(2n){transform:rotate(1.5deg)}.plan--free{background:var(--yellow)}.plan--mid{background:var(--pink);color:var(--cream)}.plan--boomer{background:var(--blue);color:var(--cream)}.plan__price{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:3.6rem;line-height:1;margin:14px 0;text-shadow:3px 3px 0 var(--black)}.plan__features{list-style:none;margin:20px 0;font-size:1rem}.plan__features li{padding:6px 0;border-bottom:2px dashed currentColor}.plan__features li:before{content:"🤡 "}.btn--runaway{transition:transform .25s cubic-bezier(.34,1.56,.64,1);position:relative;z-index:1}.server-grid{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(3,minmax(0,1fr));gap:20px;margin-top:30px}@media(max-width:900px){.server-grid{grid-template-columns:repeat(2,minmax(0,1fr))}}@media(max-width:560px){.server-grid{grid-template-columns:1fr}}.server{padding:22px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);background:var(--cream);cursor:none;transition:transform .12s ease,box-shadow .12s ease}.server:hover{transform:translate(-3px,-3px);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg)}.server.is-active{background:var(--yellow)}.server__name{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.6rem;letter-spacing:1px}.server__desc{font-size:.95rem;margin-top:8px;line-height:1.4}.server__ping{margin-top:12px;display:inline-block;padding:4px 10px;background:var(--black);color:var(--yellow);font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:.9rem;letter-spacing:1px}footer{background:var(--black);color:var(--cream);border-top:5px solid var(--black);padding:60px 0 30px;margin-top:80px}footer a{color:var(--yellow)}.footer__grid{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(auto-fit,minmax(180px,1fr));gap:40px;margin-bottom:40px}.footer__brand{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:2.4rem;color:var(--red);letter-spacing:1px}.footer__do-not-click{position:absolute;bottom:10px;right:14px;background:transparent;color:#fdfbf72e;border:1px solid rgba(253,251,247,.18);padding:4px 10px;font-size:.7rem;font-family:var(--font-body);cursor:none;letter-spacing:1px}.footer__do-not-click:hover{color:var(--red);border-color:var(--red)}.scarer{position:fixed;inset:0;z-index:99999;background:var(--black);display:none;align-items:center;justify-content:center;flex-direction:column;gap:20px;color:var(--red);text-align:center;padding:20px}.scarer.is-active{display:flex;animation:scarer-flash .18s steps(3,end)}@keyframes scarer-flash{0%{background:#000}50%{background:var(--red)}to{background:#000}}.scarer__face{font-size:clamp(8rem,22vw,18rem);filter:drop-shadow(0 0 20px var(--red));animation:scarer-throb .3s ease-in-out infinite}@keyframes scarer-throb{0%,to{transform:scale(1)}50%{transform:scale(1.08)}}.scarer__text{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:clamp(1.4rem,4vw,2.6rem);letter-spacing:2px;text-shadow:0 0 8px var(--red)}body.late-night{background:#1a0a14;color:var(--cream)}body.late-night:before{background-image:radial-gradient(circle,rgba(255,0,127,.12) 1px,transparent 1.5px);opacity:.7}body.late-night .card,body.late-night .btn,body.late-night .trust{background:#2a1422;color:var(--cream)}body.late-night .late-banner{display:block!important}.late-banner{display:none;background:var(--red);color:var(--cream);text-align:center;padding:10px;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.2rem;letter-spacing:2px;border-bottom:var(--border)}.features-grid{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(3,minmax(0,1fr));gap:28px;margin-top:40px}@media(max-width:900px){.features-grid{grid-template-columns:repeat(2,minmax(0,1fr))}}@media(max-width:560px){.features-grid{grid-template-columns:1fr}}.feature{padding:28px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);background:var(--cream)}.feature__icon{font-size:3rem;margin-bottom:12px}.feature__title{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.5rem;letter-spacing:1px;margin-bottom:8px}.rotate-neg-1{transform:rotate(-1deg)}.rotate-pos-1{transform:rotate(1deg)}.rotate-neg-2{transform:rotate(-2deg)}.rotate-pos-2{transform:rotate(2deg)}.text-center{text-align:center}.flex{display:flex;gap:20px;flex-wrap:wrap}.flex-center{justify-content:center;align-items:center}.mt-2{margin-top:20px}.mt-4{margin-top:40px}.mb-2{margin-bottom:20px}.hero{padding:60px 0 80px;position:relative}.hero__grid{display:grid;grid-template-columns:1.2fr 1fr;gap:40px;align-items:center}@media(max-width:880px){.hero__grid{grid-template-columns:1fr}.phone{margin:40px auto 0}}.hero__rotator{display:inline-block;padding:8px 18px;background:var(--pink);color:var(--cream);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm);font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.2rem;letter-spacing:2px;margin-bottom:24px;transform:rotate(-2deg)}.hero__sub{font-size:1.2rem;max-width:540px;margin:24px 0 32px}.site-header{background:var(--cream);border-bottom:var(--border);padding:14px 0;position:sticky;top:0;z-index:100}.site-header__inner{display:flex;justify-content:space-between;align-items:center;gap:20px}.brand{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:2rem;letter-spacing:1px;color:var(--red);text-shadow:2px 2px 0 var(--black);display:flex;align-items:center;gap:8px;cursor:none}.brand svg{width:40px;height:40px}.nav{display:flex;gap:24px;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.2rem;letter-spacing:1px}.nav a{color:var(--black);padding:4px 8px;text-decoration:none}.nav a:hover{background:var(--yellow);border:2px solid var(--black);text-decoration:none}@media(max-width:720px){.nav{display:none}}.page-hero{padding:60px 0 50px;border-bottom:var(--border)}.page-hero--centered{text-align:center}.breadcrumb{font-size:.85rem;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;margin-bottom:20px;opacity:.7}.breadcrumb a{color:inherit}.platforms{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(3,minmax(0,1fr));gap:28px;margin-top:40px}@media(max-width:880px){.platforms{grid-template-columns:1fr}}.platform{padding:36px 28px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg);background:var(--cream);display:flex;flex-direction:column;gap:12px}.platform--live{background:var(--yellow)}.platform--soon{opacity:.95}.platform__icon{font-size:3.2rem}.platform__title{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.8rem;letter-spacing:1px}.platform__badge{display:inline-block;padding:4px 12px;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:.9rem;letter-spacing:1px;border:2px solid var(--black);align-self:flex-start}.platform__badge--live{background:#0c4;color:var(--cream)}.platform__badge--soon{background:var(--cream)}.steps{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(3,minmax(0,1fr));gap:28px;margin-top:40px}@media(max-width:880px){.steps{grid-template-columns:1fr}}.step{position:relative;padding:28px 24px 24px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);background:var(--cream)}.step__num{position:absolute;top:-22px;left:16px;width:50px;height:50px;background:var(--red);color:var(--cream);border:var(--border);border-radius:50%;display:flex;align-items:center;justify-content:center;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.6rem;box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm)}.step__title{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.3rem;letter-spacing:1px;margin:14px 0 8px}.vs-table{width:100%;border-collapse:separate;border-spacing:0;margin-top:30px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg);background:var(--cream);overflow:hidden}.vs-table th,.vs-table td{padding:14px 18px;text-align:left;border-bottom:2px solid var(--black)}.vs-table thead th{background:var(--black);color:var(--cream);font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.1rem;letter-spacing:1px}.vs-table tbody tr:last-child td{border-bottom:0}.vs-table .yes{color:#083;font-weight:700}.vs-table .no{color:var(--red);font-weight:700}.vs-table .col-us{background:var(--yellow)}.vs-table .col-us-head{background:var(--red);color:var(--cream)}@media(max-width:720px){.vs-table{font-size:.85rem}.vs-table th,.vs-table td{padding:10px 8px}}.faq{max-width:820px;margin:40px auto 0}.faq__item{border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);background:var(--cream);margin-bottom:18px;padding:0}.faq__item summary{list-style:none;cursor:none;padding:18px 24px;font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.2rem;letter-spacing:1px;display:flex;justify-content:space-between;align-items:center;gap:16px}.faq__item summary::-webkit-details-marker{display:none}.faq__item summary:after{content:"+";font-size:2rem;font-family:var(--font-display);line-height:1;flex-shrink:0}.faq__item[open] summary{background:var(--yellow)}.faq__item[open] summary:after{content:"−"}.faq__body{padding:0 24px 24px;font-size:1rem}.waitlist{display:flex;gap:12px;flex-wrap:wrap;max-width:540px;margin-top:24px}.waitlist__input{flex:1;min-width:220px;padding:16px 20px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm);background:var(--cream);font-family:var(--font-body);font-size:1rem;cursor:none}.waitlist__input:focus{outline:none;background:var(--yellow)}.waitlist__success{margin-top:14px;padding:14px 18px;background:#0c4;color:var(--cream);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm);font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.1rem;letter-spacing:1px;display:none}.waitlist.is-sent .waitlist__success{display:block}.waitlist.is-sent .waitlist__input,.waitlist.is-sent .waitlist__submit{display:none}.stat-band{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(4,minmax(0,1fr));gap:0;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg);margin-top:40px;background:var(--cream)}@media(max-width:720px){.stat-band{grid-template-columns:repeat(2,1fr)}}.stat{padding:28px 18px;text-align:center;border-right:3px solid var(--black)}.stat:last-child{border-right:0}.stat:nth-child(2){background:var(--yellow)}.stat:nth-child(3){background:var(--pink);color:var(--cream)}.stat:nth-child(4){background:var(--blue);color:var(--cream)}.stat__num{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:2.6rem;line-height:1}.stat__label{font-size:.9rem;margin-top:6px;text-transform:uppercase;letter-spacing:1px}.qr{width:220px;height:220px;background:var(--cream);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg);padding:16px;margin:0 auto;display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(11,1fr);grid-template-rows:repeat(11,1fr);gap:2px}.qr__cell{background:var(--black)}.qr__cell.off{background:transparent}.desktop{position:relative;width:100%;max-width:480px;margin:0 auto;background:silver;border:5px solid var(--black);box-shadow:var(--shadow-lg)}.desktop__bar{background:var(--blue);color:var(--cream);padding:8px 14px;border-bottom:3px solid var(--black);font-size:.85rem;font-family:var(--font-body);font-weight:700;display:flex;justify-content:space-between}.desktop__body{background:var(--cream);padding:36px 24px;text-align:center;min-height:240px;display:flex;flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;align-items:center;gap:14px}.prose{max-width:760px;margin:0 auto;font-size:1.05rem;line-height:1.75}.prose h2{font-size:clamp(1.6rem,3vw,2.2rem);margin:50px 0 18px;padding-bottom:8px;border-bottom:4px solid var(--black);text-shadow:none}.prose h3{font-size:clamp(1.2rem,2vw,1.5rem);margin:30px 0 12px;text-shadow:none}.prose p{margin-bottom:16px}.prose ul,.prose ol{margin:0 0 18px 24px}.prose li{margin-bottom:8px}.prose strong{background:var(--yellow);padding:0 4px}.prose code{background:var(--black);color:var(--yellow);padding:2px 8px;font-size:.9em;font-family:Consolas,Monaco,monospace}.prose blockquote{border-left:6px solid var(--red);margin:20px 0;padding:14px 20px;background:var(--cream);box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm);font-style:normal}.toc{background:var(--yellow);border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);padding:24px;margin-bottom:40px}.toc__title{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.2rem;letter-spacing:1px;margin-bottom:12px}.toc ol{list-style:none;margin:0;padding:0;columns:2;column-gap:24px}@media(max-width:600px){.toc ol{columns:1}}.toc li{margin:4px 0;padding:0;break-inside:avoid;font-size:.95rem}.toc a{color:var(--black);font-weight:700}.stamp{display:inline-block;padding:8px 16px;background:var(--black);color:var(--cream);font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:.95rem;letter-spacing:1px;margin-bottom:30px;transform:rotate(-1.5deg);box-shadow:var(--shadow-sm)}.callout{border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);padding:20px 24px;margin:24px 0}.callout--note{background:var(--cream)}.callout--good{background:#b6f1c8}.callout--warning{background:var(--yellow)}.callout--bad{background:#ffc4c4}.callout__title{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.1rem;letter-spacing:1px;margin-bottom:8px}.channels{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(2,minmax(0,1fr));gap:24px;margin-top:30px}@media(max-width:720px){.channels{grid-template-columns:1fr}}.channel{padding:28px;border:var(--border);box-shadow:var(--shadow);background:var(--cream)}.channel__icon{font-size:2.6rem}.channel__title{font-family:var(--font-display);font-size:1.4rem;letter-spacing:1px;margin:8px 0}.channel a{word-break:break-word}@media(prefers-reduced-motion:reduce){*,*:before,*:after{animation-duration:.01ms!important;animation-iteration-count:1!important;transition-duration:.01ms!important}}